iPhone prices dropped by one third yesterday and apparently customers started reacting. This is just crazy:
In response to yesterday’s iPhone price drop, a number of shootings in Apple stores across the country have been reported. Preliminary reports suggest that at least 15 people lost their lives in the line of duty.
Only two hours after the shooting, local police forces, working with the security firms that provide perimeter security to Apple stores, have been able to identify all the assailants and while no video footage has yet been officially released, our sources report that all gunmen appear to be early adopters of the iPhone platofrm.
Eye witness reports from different stores all claimed that the gunmen stormed into the store, armed with customer-level submachine guns and filled the iPhone demo stands with bullets. When approached by so-called Apple Geniuses and asked, in a calm, manner, to stop the shooting and put down the gun, many of the attackers seemed to snap and started shooting at the store’s employees.
Although many police departments deployed SWAT teams on-site almost immediately, the massacres could only stopped after the shooters ran out of ammunition, all the while police forces had to watch helplessly and try to contain the situations as good as possible.
Due to the large scale of this rampage, the FBI has taken interest in the case and will be conducting investigations.
A FBI spokeswoman would not give us any more comments at this time, stating that until a thorough investigation was conducted, everything was simply speculation. The FBI also would not comment on the backgrounds of the killers and their, possible, affiliations with each other.
Once again it becomes evident that Apple’s way of toying with it’s customers is not the right way to treat customers. Liberated in thinking by famous customer-related weblogs such as The Consumerist, this time, customers really did bite back, with lead.
I wonder when companies will realize that the first adopters are, in part, the most important customers a company has, not only because they help iron out any bugs that made it through quality assurance, but also because these are the guys (and, of course, gals) that help create a buzz around your product and ensure that more people feed the machine…
Please note that the above article is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. No harm, misrepresentation, libel, malice or copyright infringement is intended. At no time is this meant to be construed as reality.