Valentine’s Day 2008

posted in personal stuff on February 14th, 2008

February 14th, Valentine’s Day – one of the three most important days for those that are currently in a relationship as well as for those hoping to be in one soon, and not unlike last year, there are a number of thoughts on the subject that I feel like sharing with you.

There is an old proverb that claims that if someone were to tell you who your friends are, you could, in turn, tell them who they are and I think nothing is more true when it comes to relationships.

It is said that opposites attract but most of the time, successful relationships consist of people that complete each other and while that does not necessarily mean that either partner cannot be the opposite of the other, in general, occurrences of fundamental opposites falling for each other are very rarely seen.

Let me preface this train of thought by saying that I believe many males to be incapable of living a truly blissful life without a companion, for the simple reason that we, the males, in general, depend on female council.

Do not take my word for it though, just grab a couple of books and you will see that a large percentage of authors dedicate their works to their wives or other females, not because it would be the right thing to do (it is), but because, and I semi-quote “she kept my back free and put me in a position to do this”.

And it is not just authors who greatly benefit from their partners, in fact, just about every male in a healthy relationship does (naturally, females do also benefit from relationships, but their benefits are oftentimes very different ones).

The females in our lives, be it friends, girlfriend, spouse, sister or mother, are the ones you can depend on the most, the ones that will stick by you and help you get up again when you have been knocked down and sometimes, it just looks as if we (the males) keep forgetting the support we receive, albeit unconditional in many cases, is not something that should be taken for granted.

Males are often considered the stronger sex, simply because of the way our respective bodies are built, but what holds true on a physical level does not necessarily hold true on an emotional level, for it is the females that do much of the hard work: shielding us, caring for us, healing us and most importantly: loving us. I am not saying that males are incapable of doing the same things, because that would simply be untrue, but in general, females are a lot better at doing the above mentioned things a lot better than we can.

Humans, like all animals, can easily accustom themselves to a certain routine, no matter what kind and while at times routines can be beneficial, certain routines can be a killer for relationships. There is nothing wrong with growing accustomed to your partner per se, after all, that is simply how things go, and in the process you will most probably learn a whole range of things about the other, but that does not give you the right to take them for granted, even though it is easy to accept someone’s unconditional love if they keep giving it to you on a daily basis.
Many a man are likely to just discard this show of affection as it being the way it is (or is supposed to be), routines, however, can lead to fading interest, in both parties and this, in turn leads to people being more susceptible to an unwillingness to give more than it takes to keep the relationship going.

While I am not generally a fan of the concept of a single day specifically designed to overload the important people in your life with gifts that are mostly of commercial value, I believe that many males would be well advised to at least show that they care on this very day.

For those smart males that are looking to do a little bit extra and keep the females in their lives extra happy, I would suggest that you do not stick to a single day of showing your feelings to the other, but rather spread it evenly throughout the year.

Now, I do realize that sometimes things just do not work out as expected and when things start to heat up and there is little time for niceties, the most basic, yet often: more important things, are easily forgotten, so just grab your PDA, Blackberry or whatever you own and jot down a few appointments throughout the year.

Hint: I would go for at least four days a year (although I would recommend making “her” feel special at least once every week). These days are special dates, spread out throughout the year, intended to show that you still value her, still appreciate all the things she is doing for you and still think that, excuse my choice of words here, she is the hottest piece of ass you could ever get and more importantly: wanted to get.

Showing emotions is not something that should be considered wrong or discarded as being anything less than masculine, for it takes a real man to open up your heart and show your feelings.

Take the time to show the other that you care and that you are worth keeping. Do something out of the ordinary for your partner and utilize the way our brains are wired in as that they only notice that which is different easily.

Our brains are hardwired to act as filters in order to protect us from too much information and if you apply this to a relationship, you will see that having the guts to be different, having the guts to break through some of the simple routines and do something totally unexpected and keeping her guessing about what crazy, albeit lovely idea, you will come up next can shed some very nice rewards; most of all: the feeling that you made someone else feel great about herself (or himself, just depends).

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Here’s to you

posted in personal stuff on February 14th, 2007

February 14th, Valentine’s Day, a day that is traditionally used to express your love and affection towards those with whom you share a familiar love with, but also towards those you share romantic love with (and if you’re lucky enough to be able to have a 2-for-1 deal going, even better!)

Today is about showing your partner(s) how much you care about them, your chance to thank them for all the things they do. Things you might have started to take for granted, but believe me, they are not. So get out there (if you haven’t already done so) and surprise your loved one(s). They deserve it.

While you’re at it, you might want to consider extending Valentine’s Day beyond it’s original scope of only showing your gratitude towards loved ones, you might want to think about including those people you admire too, like I’m about to do:

We’ve met a few years ago, yet it sometimes feels like only yesterday. We’ve been through good times and the obligatory bad times, we’ve even been through no-times, that is, the dark period without regular contact. We’ve shared secrets with each other that other’s still aren’t privy too and probably never will be.

Yes, we’ve had our fair share of disagreements but we managed to pull through, most of the time. Our friendship, if you want to call it that, has been faced with events that would have destroyed any other friendship, yet, ours miraculously survived, even if it was put on life-support by me soon thereafter. In hindsight, it seems hardly thankful, after all the things you’ve done for me and believe me, there isn’t a day I don’t feel guilty about it. That same guilt is what kept me from telling you this a lot sooner, that same guilt, is what keept me from hangin’ out with you in the past.

In times of trouble, no matter which kind, you have stood by me, you have protected me and you stood up for me, even though you didn’t have to. You were there for me when I needed someone to talk to and you allowed me to help you when you needed someone to talk to.

You managed to captivate my mind and heart the day we first met and you continue to amaze me until this very day. You possess a gift, an inner strength that is unlike anything I have ever witnessed. You somehow overcome events that cripple others for a lifetime and even though I know that deep inside you, a little part of you succumbs to the pressure, you never show, you are always the same, blissful person.

I respect that and I admire you for it, a lot. So, here’s to you! You know who you are.

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